Reflecting on my birth experience, one year on

I gave birth to our little girl, Violet, in February 2017 and it’s only a year later I’ve really got my head around the events of that day. I had quite a traumatic time and have been working with a specialist midwife to work out exactly what happened, which has really helped me to move on and prepare for the next time. I’m expecting my second in August of this year.

My birth was honestly the best and the worst day of my life combined – a real tricky one to get my head around!

Here is my birth, one year on…


At the time

I thought I’d done as much preparation as I could, I did NCT classes and a full hypnobirthing course. I felt I knew as much as there was to know about birth and would be prepared when it came to the day.

One year on

I totally get that before you have a baby, people want to be positive and tell you things would be ok, but I was no way prepared for the level of pain I was about to face. I wish instead of telling me ‘Just breath your baby out, it’ll be painless’, that people could have said ‘yes, it’ll be bad at the time, but it passes, there is pain relief and you will cope’ as then I’ll have had a more realistic idea of what to expect.

Start of labour

At the birth

As Violet was back-to-back, I didn’t get any ‘niggling’ contractions or a build-up of any kind – we went from 0 to 60, with strong contractions every 4 minutes from the start. I didn’t expect this and neither did my midwife at the hospital.

I knew something wasn’t right but took the midwives’ word that I was not yet in active labour and had to wait another 3 hours before I was offered any type of pain relief.

One year on

I now know I should have trusted my instinct and my body. It turned out I was much further on than the initial midwife thought, she just couldn’t believe it as I was a first-time mum. I didn’t have the confidence to speak out and make myself heard at the time.

I know as a second time mum I’ll definitely have more confidence in my body and speaking my mind when it comes to my needs. I’d never done this before but I did actually know EXACTLY what was happening, better than anyone else in the room. Trust your instincts – you will know!

Pain relief

At the birth

I ended up having an epidural with Violet. This wasn’t my plan and I felt really disappointed that I’d asked for it at the time. I was just scared and felt I wasn’t being listened to, so I panicked.

It really slowed things down and eventually Violet was delivered by ventouse. I kicked myself for accepting it and blamed myself for not coping, wondering if my pain threshold was much less than other women or if I was just a wuss.

One year on

From working with my midwife, I actually learned that Violet’s position was causing a huge amount of pressure and pain, which isn’t the ‘normal’ position for labour.

I feel like I should cut myself some slack for wanting an epidural. I did the best I could at the time and I did cope so much better once it was in, in fact it felt pretty amazing! It allowed me to make informed decisions about the interventions that came next and be more present as I didn’t have to worry about the pain.

Active labour

At the birth

One thing I lost sight of at the time was the obvious – I WAS HAVING A BABY! I concentrated hugely on the pain and the medical procedures.

One year on

Next time I’m in labour I’ll picture my baby all the way through and know it WILL end and when it does it’ll be beautiful.

That moment  

At the birth

The best moment of my life – Violet had been born! Words cannot describe the first time you hold your baby and their eyes meet yours. The relief, the joy, the happiness, the love like you’ve never felt it before, it washed everything away in an instant.

One year on

Every time I think about that moment it brings a tear to my eye. I’d become a mother.

As you can see, we’ve had a bumpy ride, but I’ve learned three incredibly valuable lessons from my first birth:

  1. Things don’t always go to plan but at the end of it you get to meet your BEAUTIFUL baby
  2. Trust your instincts!
  3. The saying is right – you do forget the pain. I’m ready to do it all again after just a year! Let’s see what next time brings…

Chat to other parents in your BabyCentre Birth Club.

Go to source
More News, Tricks and Tips
Copyright or Author: Lyndsay Gardner
Copyright or Author:
Source Link: don’t have the copyright of this post!
We copy the post to help the most people for Fair Use with this post that is important to learn and know how to deal with a baby’s life until being a child or teenager. For any question or remove you from the list of important websites and blogs, please contact us at or if you prefer in Messenger facebook.
Thank you, Baby Kids

Leave your like in Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!
#baby #babies #toddler #kids #children #care #news #tricks #tips #fun #holidays #happy

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.